Goldilocks

Easily Done

After walking up hundreds of hills and endless flights of stairs I have lost all perception of where the top is. Half the cast (the male half) is housed on the fourth floor of some Edinburgh University student accommodation.  Five bedrooms, shared kitchen and three (I counted them) toilets...two with showers.  Identical flats stacked on top of each other. It takes me back to my student days of labelling the milk in the fridge.  One morning I had to grab some flyers from the flat so borrowed a key to get in as all the cast were out. Up the hill, up the stairs, up, up, up...never down. Got the keys out...but...the door was on the latch. Typical. Gone out and left the flat open. How irresponsible. I dumped my bags by the entrance and thought I’d quickly use the loo before grabbing the flyers...that’s odd I thought.  The toilet with a shower is now just a toilet. Maybe I’d got confused, that was it. That’s funny...the toilet doesn’t smell like a toilet used by five boys...it’s got air freshener for a start...oh well...they were obviously a cast of “new” men. And the seat was down...very odd. I’ll grab the flyers I thought...then I’ll have a quick cup of tea with the labelled milk. The cupboard full of flyers was empty though.  Who would steal 20,000 flyers? It now becomes startlingly obvious. The clues were there to see. Scented toilet with lid down...this is not a boy’s flat. The fire escape map pinned to the inside of the front door confirmed my worst fears. FLOOR THREE. A sound came from the shared kitchen. Oh shit. Someone’s home.  I’m now feeling like a male Goldilocks....this toilet smells too nice....Do I sneak out or come clean?  Are the residents ready to accept a strange man in their toilet? No. I’m off. I picked up my rucksack and slipped quietly out of the flat one floor below the one I had a key for. As I left the flat I was confronted with a staircase that continued to rise to the fourth floor which just goes to show you can never reach the top in Edinburgh.  

So, if you’re currently staying in Darroch Court and wondering who used your toilet the other day...it was me.

D.